Tag Archives: Leave Me Alone

#ALoveHateSituation

Hey, hey!

So, let me just start off by apologising for the lack of posts in the past… Month or so, I think? Anyhow, just like the very next person, I have had things needing to be attended to; whether willingly or not is another matter, however. As a sum-up, since my last post, I’ve had university examinations (so much fun…) for 2-3 weeks, had gone on holidays with my friends for a week, and after a week-and-a-half of chilling, sleeping, and working, here I am. Anyhow, hope you’ve been well, everything fine-and-dandy; let us get started!

Let’s blame a disrupted sleeping pattern, a semester of brain-wrenching university, 6 months of emotionally-exhaustive work and a splash of stress from day-to-day life, but my God… I think this year has made me a little bitter, to say the least! And why must I start off with this weak justification for my so-called ruthlessness? Because I am here today to rant about friends.

Now, now, don’t get me wrong, I beg of you, because I’d even go as far as to say that I am more reliant on my friends than I am on my family. As unfortunate as that sounds, it is the truth, but in all honesty, it’s not all that bad – I mean, many of us consider our closest friends to be ‘family’ anyway. And I love them most dearly, but that isn’t to say that at times, it feels as though they are intentionally trying to wear me down.

For this post, I’m going to go into a little bit of personal context to illustrate where ‘it’ had all begun; so let us get settled, because I’m not sure about you, but I can feel a rather ‘extensive’ post coming up!

So, our story evolves around the friendship group, predominantly consisting of high school friends – I’m sure you all know what I mean; there’s always that ‘general’ group of friends, let’s say maybe 20 or so people? And within that group, there are smaller groups of more tightly knit friends of around 5.

From the general group, a girl organised to go out for her birthday. Sounds good, yeah? I mean, a typical birthday plan for people our age, right? The problem was that the girl in question was, well, a little questionable in character. Unfortunately, she was the girl who had drunk too much at parties during school, as she’d start off drinking a few to fit in, before getting out of hand. She wanted to be liked – understandable, I mean, it was high school. And on top of that, she… wasn’t necessarily sexually ‘active’ (at this point at least), per say, but was… let’s say an eager young lady… And leave it at that for now. Continuing on. At this stage she was single.

Now, the general group was happy to go out for her birthday despite perceptions. To the evening’s events, a closer friend of mine had decided to invite a fellow from primary school along – he’d moved back in our area after leaving at the end of primary school. Seems like a nice opportunity to meet new people and make some friends. Great. So summarise, after that evening, the fellow and the birthday girl had become a couple. Cute.

For the next few months, everything was quiet. Until the girl went overseas for her gap year with a few other members of the general group, leaving this poor fellow back home. After under a week or so, they had broken things off, and the birthday girl had disconnected her Facebook (without warning) and was free to ‘meet’ new people on her trip, despite being with friends…

By this time, the fellow has joined a smaller group of closer friends, and simultaneously was broken-hearted, meaning the ex was a repeated conversation topic. Anyhow, still, this was fine – he was just getting over things, and it was just him talking, and it was going to pass. But wait for it. Come New Year’s Eve… At the end, we go our separate ways to find our way home in small groups. This fellow and a girl from the small group he had joined have a one-nighter… Then all hell breaks loose what with ‘betrayal’ and a lot of anger being thrown around into a tumultuous hurricane of emotions. Bad thing: well, what I’d just mentioned. Good thing: I was not directly involved (but that isn’t to say that this was not a recurring conversation topic).

A couple of months passed, and things gradually started to calm down. Of course, everyone knew of the events which had occurred. Then the aforementioned small group goes camping; optimistic, eh? Myself and several others were invited as well, but looking at the tense situation, as well as the fact that this camping trip was a thing which that small group did yearly and we didn’t want to ring-in, we declined the offer. Except one. This one was from my close circle of friends, and no offence, but lacks social ‘consciousness’ – blind to the fact that he may be ringing-in and unaware of the rest of our hesitancy, he goes along. Anyhow, the fellow and another member, although not all the way, did hit it off. Well, that just fed more kindle to that fire from hell, didn’t it? On the plus side, that ‘fling’ wasn’t a one-off, and they’re a couple.

Anyhow, my point is, being somewhat attached to these events is exhausting, and is frustrating to deal with to say the least, especially when you’re trying to organise group events and not do anything which can be perceived as ‘favouritism’.

But those events aren’t my only concern. But the other concerns have sprouted from these… Here’s the briefing:

The fellow’s girlfriend is a good friend of mine, however, since leaving school, she has seemed to prioritise things in such a way that I am feeling that I am being taken granted of – treated more so as a back-up friend where I am more relied to be there simply when she can find no one else

The guy who had tagged along to the camping trip (the ‘ring-in’), ever since the trip, has basically taken the aforementioned girl from me; it annoys me simply because I don’t want to be that selfish person, but I feel as though he, having no social awareness, has just pushed me aside and taken that friend from me, which, from my perspective is selfish. What makes it worse is that this is not the first time it has occurred. Which ultimately leads to me questioning why I cannot seem to ‘keep’ these friends… And I cannot ask him to back away, because that is simply more selfish and unreasonable. Ugh, thanks for that… This friend also does not now how to prioritise his friends – or more that he prioritises explicitly which is inappropriate, especially when his girlfriend is involved and she is clearly placed lower than his other friends, and frequently ‘joking’ how attractive his girlfriend’s younger sister is in front of the said girlfriend.

People (besides the guy above) are still aggressive and bitter towards the ‘newly’ formed couple

I have friends who have basically detached themselves since leaving school; I can understand the wanting to meet knew people and exploring new places and ideas, but (not caring that I am sounding selfish anymore) I don’t think it is fair to be simply ignored or avoided or under-prioritised because there are ‘new’ people. I think I wouldn’t be complaining about this if they’d gone to the effort to at least respond to messages, or decline with regret and promises of catching up

And in general, I despise it when friends:

– Suddenly stop replying to text messages, especially when you’re trying to organise something, and all you’re after is a yes or no

– All of a sudden cancel on you with a lack of proper apology or legitimate excuse

– Respond to events with ‘maybe’, simply because they want to see if they get a better offer – which I find rude, and do not appreciate being treated as a last resort; I would rather someone decline because they did not like the plans themselves

– People complain about certain topics or people, and when you (for that said person – often because they had asked you to) bring this topic up for discussion in open either do not support you in what you’re saying (because of others present), or give non-definitive responses as to protect themselves; both of these essentially resulting in myself being shoved under the bus. Fun

– Friends who aren’t your closest friends who make assumptions on situations (e.g. on events which had occurred), or myself or my friends, as if they know better than you do; I’m not trying to sound self-righteous here, but I’m sure we have all been there when someone has made unwarranted comments on something you’re sure that you know more about, whether it be because you were there when whatever event took place, or because you have known someone for longer than him/her

– Even within smaller groups, anything mentioned can easily be contorted, disfigured and manipulated, so that there is always someone who is an antagonist; who’s to blame in the end? You, of course, because you started it all by recounting your weekend

– Friends who complain about something, but do nothing to rectify this; this especially frustrates me when I have been elected to organise something because no one else wanted to, and come the event, the attendees complain about how everything had been managed, despite not having helped in any way or mentioned anything during the organising process about points you didn’t like

I understand that after this post, you must all think that I am the most selfish person as far as friendships go… But I think it was worth is – I mean, I got to vent, I know that that isn’t the case, and those of you who read this and myself don’t know each other anyhow! And you must also think that I am some sort of over-clingy individual who leeches on people who don’t want to be my friend… But I assure you that many of the people (both mentioned and not mentioned) are my friends – I was just having an aggravating day, and was merely picking at the little bits and pieces. And don’t be on your high horse and say you don’t have even one thing that doesn’t annoy you about many of your friends – friends aren’t necessarily someone who you think is 100% perfection, but are people who have flaws which can be easily looked over because the qualities you love are undeniably greater than these so-called flaws.

Anyhow, I’m knackered, so off I go. I feel like this was a somewhat underwhelming post, so I apologise for that. I’ll try and post more soon. Thanks, and goodnight!

#FirstWorld

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#Shhhhh

Hello to all ‘my peeps’ out there! lol jokes, I’m just talking to myself… Again… Awkward!

Anyhow, new post, new topic! Let’s begin.

So, it is needless to say that we live in a, still fairly new, technological age, where we are all (in at least one form or another) dependent on technology. And one of the benefits and hindrances is the accessibility of information. As far as this post is concerned, I won’t get into the undeniable fact that this accessibility has invasive and frightening affects – I’ll leave that for another time; so, right now, I’m referring to the way we utilise technology in the form of computers, laptops, iPads etc. to access the internet in order to find out more and acquire more knowledge. In that sense, that’s fine – I mean, we all adapt and keep up with the pace of the world.

But with that being said, I am, to a certain extent, slightly traditional in that, I ‘enjoy’ going to the library. I like the fact that it doesn’t hurt my eyes to read what’s in front of me, and the touch and smell that emanate from the pages and ink; I enjoy the peace in which you’re able to disconnect from the hustle and bustle of the corporate world, and just dive into your thoughts, or get that last bit of work done and dusted to achieve that sense of satisfaction – you know, that feeling when you know you no longer have those few things you need to complete before being able to completely immerse yourself into relaxation mode.

For those who aren’t really familiar with the library, I think they’re subject to negative preconceptions regarding libraries. Yes, we’re in the technological age, but that, by no means, prevents new books from being printed, and therefore, the books contained within the library are not all out of date. If anything, you’re probably more likely to find out of date works on the internet – at least with the books, they tell you who published it and when to qualify its reliability. Also, the library is not all strict, prissy little ladies who hush and reprimand you for every audible sound you utter; on the contrary, I find that the majority are sociable, and somewhat laid back.

But here’s the problem: the library actually isn’t strict enough.

As mentioned earlier, I like the peacefulness of the place. I can get things done – there’s a lack of distractions, and the atmosphere of the place is supposed to motivate you to study and work. This isn’t a social watering hole. On numerous occasions have I been at the library where there have been clusters of students who are supposedly ‘studying’ for their exams… With their friends. Just to let you know, I’m practically certain that what ‘controversial’ events that the other people in your year got up to last Friday night will not be in your upcoming Biology exam. Just call it instinct. And I’m also pretty sure that no one else in the library really cares to hear of it either. No offense, though. Anyhow, if you’re simply here for a social session, why not spend it outside? The sky is blue, the birds are singing – let the outside world enjoy your company, instead of having a hissy when the few people around you give you frustrated glares and exasperated sighs.

On the topic of the above, sure, you obviously have the right to use the computers for your study. But don’t claim to study and then log into Facebook, then go on to talk to each other about what you read. And on top of that, make sure you don’t post status updates on Facebook, whether it be serious or sarcastic, about how productive you are being, because I can assure you, beside the few people who are apparently daft enough to take that bait of yours, no one else really cares, and they are more or less complaining about you.

I’m subject to listening to my iPod more often than not while I study. It just helps me to disconnect from the rest of the library, that’s all – I know that it probably isn’t beneficial as far as studying effectively goes, but it’s just what I do. So with respect to that, I’m fine with other people listening to their iPods or whatever musical device they use; I can’t see why many people would be opposed to that, except for its probable effects on studying. But I’m pretty sure there is a problem when I can most definitely hear what your listening to over what I’m listening to and the general noises within the library. And of course, the frequent perpetrators of this are those who enjoy listening to the loudest and most aggressive of music. People, we’re not in your bedroom; nor did I ask if I could share one of your earphones as to listen to what your favourite song is. Also, I can’t imagine being deaf at the age of 20 is on anybody’s bucket list. So for the love of God, turn your music down!

Ok, even though the post is still an essay and a half like usual, my next point is going to be my last since I should be studying… Awkward, again.

My final point is for those who seem to think bringing in hot or noisy food is all right. Now, don’t get me wrong, I admit that I have brought food into the library before – even, to be a hypocrite, some hot food, but that was when I was younger, and stupid. Oh, so stupid. Anyhow, nowadays, if I do choose to smuggle a few snacks here and there into the library for a much needed energy boost, I make sure that it is something that people cannot hear me eat, and also that they cannot smell my food. I think that’s fair, especially since I’m not touching any of the books in the library or the computers after eating – more often than not, I’d be reading my study notes or typing away on my laptop. But I guess not everyone can be as conscientious as me (lol). For instance, just a few days ago, I was studying away at a desk near the computers, all the other spaces having been taken. First off, there are these few people to my left who are adamant t chat away every so often. Second off, no one in the computer section seemed to have come accustomed with the invention called the earphones, or the mute button on the computers – I swear, each individual was guilty of playing something on YouTube or a site out loud before realising everybody could hear everything, at least once each. But then, one lady walks in. She sits down at a computer – all okay at the moment. But then, she unzips her backpack, then unleashes her paper bag of fast food which she had bought moments before from the shop across the road. For the next fifteen minutes, as I was trying to read my textbook, all I could hear was her crunching her paper bag and paper wrappings as loudly as her fists could manage, and smell the odorous wafts of her food. I don’t know whether she thought she was being cunning and sly as she sat at the computer behind a wall, hiding her from the front desk, but she was, by all means, not subtle at all! And once she had completed her meal, she continues to use the computer.

So, basically, I just find that despite the library having a reputation for being a place to accommodate learning and studying, much of its users are not being respectful for those who intend to use it just for that. It’s rude and inconsiderate, and if so many people are wanting a social hub, then the government should invest in that.

That’s it. Simply.

Thanks guys, got to go now!

#FirstWorldLife

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#ChequeCreditOrSavings

Hello to my rare, yet existent, readers, and sorry that I hadn’t been around as of late – university, work and life in general have been quite hectic. I won’t delay my rant; let’s get right into it, shall we?

So, for the few, whoever they may be, I’m going to reveal (out of obligation in order to understand the context of this rant) another fact about myself: like many of us First-World-students out there, I have a casual time job – I mean, we need to support our youthful lifestyles somehow, don’t we? I mean, it’d be ideal not to have a job but instead have a steady flow of income streaming into your bank account, leaving you to be more than comfortable. But no; of course that isn’t the case.

Anyhow, that wasn’t exactly the fact. The fact is that I work in retail. Do not get me wrong, although this being the topic, I’m grateful for the fact that the first ‘real’ (well, as real as it can get when you’re after a casual time job of decent wage while you’re a student) job I managed to obtain via an interview and retain it for however long it has been (I’d give it maybe 9, maybe even 10 months, so clearly, the term ‘retain’ is used quite loosely here). But that doesn’t stop me from feeling somewhat and somehow victimised.

So, I’m not sure whether you personally have endured the position of a retail assistant, or you know of someone who has, but for those who haven’t, sure, the pay is average (at least, it’s what my age group is supposed to earn, as opposed to the wage of those who work in food services who are paid a smaller amount), but words cannot express the mental and emotional endurance it requires. And this having been my first job, my God, it hit me like a brick wall. Coated in concrete. Then encased inside iron sheets.

Mind you, myself and various other individuals attained a position for the holiday period – at that point, I can’t say I had that much to complain about. I mean, there were the odd things here and there I didn’t understand or did wrong, but I was certainly not alone. And luckily for a few others and yours truly, the manager had decided to keep us on. Hurrah for me, right?

But since then, the holidays have finished – no more relaxing and socialising whenever I’m not earning my pay. Instead, I got to ‘delightfully’ replace those blissful days with university. As mentioned in a prior post, I’m not exactly the happiest of the bunch as far as my tertiary education is concerned; the commute and the contact hours are deadly by itself, let alone the assignments and the obligation to be always socially conscious. Anyhow, what I am trying to say is that, with the new job and university life joining forces, I began to feel that aforementioned brick wall. I didn’t come out of it unconscious, but I have felt delusional and depressed from the stress.

So, the cause of my downfall: the job. Like I had said, I’m grateful, truly. And there are great discount perks as well, and I personally think that having such a person-to-person contact job has helped me to be at least slightly more sociable and outgoing – or as far as my socially inept character has enabled me to grow. But still… At the end of my shift, every time I am amazed at the sloppiness and inconsideration of people. I understand that being the customer, you have the right to, I suppose, utilise the assistance to its fullest – I mean, they’re working in order to come into our store and purchase whatever products, and essentially, that’s what us assistants are doing. Yet, I think everyone has taken this too far. For instance, we have certain clothes folded on tables out the front of the store – obviously, they’re often popular items so that customers are lured inside. I can accept a few of these items being unfolded and tossed around to see what it’s like, et cetera, but I find that, despite each pile having the same item but in different sizes, there are always those people who don’t seem to understand that. By this I mean that even though a whole pile may be of the same style, there is an individual who, for some unknown reason, will go through half the pile and unfold everything to their fullest extent, just to check that they are actually the same. Then leave them there, because she only realised at the end of her expedition that she was no longer interested in it.

Then there are the coat hangers. I personally didn’t realise how difficult people found hanging clothes up to be mind-blowingly excruciating. If I had received even 5 cents for every time someone had put the item back in (obviously) the wrong spot (which causes problems when they carelessly place them on racks labelled for items of reduced prices, when the item is full price), the item was hung up inside out or backwards, the hanger itself was backwards, or they hadn’t even bothered to hang them (instead just left them on the floor), then, no joke, I probably would not need a job to fund the rest of my life.

We also get these customers who ask whether we have anything in the storeroom. People, if we had them, and there was space for them or there was a lack of that item, do you not think that us workers have got the common sense to put them out? I understand that retail may not be deemed as the most ‘academic’ job, but we are not stupid. And many of us are actually trying to do what we can in order to make things easier for you, and ultimately to get you to purchase items, despite being treated like the lowest of servants. Then there was this one time when a lady (with a guy, who was clearly her son) comes in and asks whether we had the jacket that was displayed on the mannequin. I reply with something along the lines of ‘we’ve sold out’ (but phrased much more politely and amicably). To this, in order to satisfy her precious son, who does not seem as into the jacket as she makes it seem, the lady asks if the jacket on the mannequin is for sale, to which I respond that it is not – we’re not allowed by the manager to sell them, as 1) it requires the dismantling of the mannequin 2) there would be nothing to replace the removed jacket with since we’ve sold out, and 3) we’re prohibited from selling those, as the styles on the mannequins are set by the company. To this, she questions as to why we’re advertising clothing which we don’t sell. Now, she didn’t query this in so much as an aggressive manner, but she clearly had an intention to be a smart-arse, as she adds that annoying, ‘cheeky’ smile at the end. To that lady: do you not understand what the term “sold-out” means? I am trying to tell you that we sell them, but we have run out because you were too late. We’re probably going to get more, and when we do, we’re not going to put them all on different mannequins and not sell them. You’re not being smart, so stop trying belittle me, because this is not my fault, and I am not being daft. Go home. Please.

And the change rooms. The state of these change rooms have been on the verge of pushing me into a metal breakdown. I get that you might leave clothes you try on on the floor for you to clean up later on when your heart desires – I mean, I do it too – but this isn’t your home; not even remotely close. And if it was, next time you’re around, feel free to vacuum the place as well. You don’t understand how time consuming it is to grab the twenty-or-so items you have so kindly left behind, turn them back inside-out, hang them up or fold them, then return them to their original location in a store which rearranges itself monthly, while having to focus on customer service, shoplifters, and the cashier. Especially when your selfishness results in us assistants being told off by our bosses, regardless of how hard we have been working.

I know I have been going for ages, but there is still plenty more to come, so if you have not yet figured out that this is an extensive essay and a half on why I am despising my retail job at the top because it is merely adding unwarranted stress on top of my other concerns, I am telling you now that by no means are you obligated to read on (assuming that you have made it this far!)

Customers. Ugh. There are the few that are the sweetest, or the funniest; just those handful of people who don’t have a life goal to ruin your shift. Thank you. Genuinely, bless you. But for the rest of you… Like many other retail stores, we’re required to promote other items while we’re serving customers. I’m not sure if you don’t know this, but we HAVE to ask you whether you wanted to buy this item for this reduced price, or sign up to our mailing list. So with that amazing revelation, do not give us the dirtiest look you can muster because we are doing our jobs, and also do not cut us off rudely or comment condescendingly – we don’t come into your office job, shuffle and tear forms and documents, and shout obscene comments at you about what you’re doing wrong. Also, many of us who work here are not that inept or deceitful: we do not go out of our way to lie to you about our refund and exchange policy, so do not come back a few weeks later being adamant that you were told otherwise regarding your unwanted items; and no, when we ask you whether you want to make a charity donation, we are not pocketing these funds for ourselves. That would be stealing. That is illegal. We are not thieves. Do you get it now? Or would you like a picture? And there is one manager. The rest of us are simply casual workers. So when I imply that I’m just a casual, doing as I am asked, and the manager is not here today, do not persist your concerns. I have clearly addressed them to the best of my ability – I had a customer who, throughout a discussion, repeatedly said “Oh, I couldn’t give a shit etc. etc. it doesn’t affect me etc. etc. But is your manager here?”. If you don’t care, I can’t do anything about your problem, and I have said the manager is not here… Why are you still here? I have found that, even though I have been in retail for under a year, many of the people need to understand that a lot of the problems are not our fault – if they are, they were not done intentionally, and we sincerely apologise, and will do what we can to rectify this. Yes, you might be slightly annoyed, but many people take far too an aggressive and abusive stance – don’t yell at us, because we already feel guilty, and it probably makes us more nervous and panicked, and more likely to make another mistake. Just because you have clearly had a bad day does not, in the slightest way, give you the permission nor the justification to ruin another individual’s day, especially when they’re doing what they can to help you out. Ugh!

I’m fine with you guys bringing food into the store – it’s fair enough: in the shopping complex, buy some food, look and buy some merchandise. Seems reasonable. But do not be a slob. Don’t just leave your empty coffee cups and drink bottles and food wrappers wherever your heart desires. This is not a tip. And even more, don’t leave unfinished food and drink lying about. But on top of this, if you spill something, don’t just walk away and leave it for us to discover, because I’m not sure if you knew this, but we don’t consider that half a cup of juice and unfinished burger that you spilled and left on the ground to be anywhere near the likes of treasure. It’s disgusting. Next time I you’re at your office job, I might accidentally spill 2-minute noodles, a cup of coffee, and a mystery meal over your desk. And do you know what I’ll do? I will deliberately make eye contact with you, before running away. Cheers.

Lastly (I think I’m slowly running out of steam – lucky you!), the inequality within the workplace. I understand that depending on how long people have been working at the store, the manager’s clearly going to place more trust in, or is going to have a better relationship with some than others. But at the same time, if we are all (besides the manger, obviously) placed under the same category of casual time, and we get the same menial tasks to do, a sense of equality needs to be accomplished. But that is not the case, of course. The manager always has the one or few favourites – yes, they might get a talking to if they do something wrong, but clearly no where near the extent to us non-favourites. Lucky me. The one example that has recently frustrated me is this: a few of us worked one day; it was the manager’s day off. The store got shredded apart by customers, and this being our jobs, we naturally do what we can to tidy up the store while still accommodating to our customer’s needs. Come closing, we get half an hour to tidy up and vacuum. Did what we could, in all honesty, by with 30 minutes, there’s only so much you can do regardless of effort input. I’m sure we would have stayed a bit longer tidying up, but we’re actually not allowed without prior permission, since we can’t extend our shift and expect additional pay for that extension. So we leave, thinking that the store was in a better, if not manageable condition for the next day (which none of us were working, but others and the manager were). And we get a lovely text from the manager the next day reprimanding us for the atrocious state of the store and how this was not acceptable. We understand that the store wasn’t great, but in all honestly, we thought he was exaggerating, and is it really fair to base what he is seeing without having an understanding of what the store was like before our tidying? Being the emotional vulnerable wuss that I am, I take this on board but with a heavy heart, which had actually ruined several of my subsequent days, with the words of the text running through my head at a not-so-healthy frequency. But here’s something else: the week before, the manager had closed the store – and naturally, when we leave, he is supposed to check everything is fine, and that the doors are locked for the obvious reasons. Next day when I worked, the person who had opened mentions how half the doors were not locked. But who is going to call the manager out on this? Are we going to tell the head office for him to receive a text message stating his poor behaviour and unsatisfactory actions? Of course not. It does not matter the extent of wrongdoing the top-dog does, because even if we were to notify some high, mighty and superior boss, this will probably backfire onto us. On top of this, last shift, the same group and I (the ‘naughty’ people who left the store messy) are working together again. Get there in the morning, what do we see? The store is horrible, and the workers of the day before had not even vacuumed. Guess who was there working as well, though. Yup, the manager. Because he was there, he can excuse it, since he knows that everyone tried their best. Did he get a text castigating his standards? I guess not. And this just sucks.

So yeah, I think I’m vented out – whether or not there were more points, I’m too knackered to continue on.

This massive post should hopefully make up for the lack of posts lately, enjoy!

#FirstWorldLife

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